Cue the theme song:

But how many of you that sit and judge me
Have ever walked the streets of Bakersfield?

Walking downtown in Bakersfield is pretty risky business. It can be tough to navigate these seemingly quaint small town streets.

It's only a couple of blocks from my office to my favorite local coffee shop, Dagny's, but along the way are many obstacles.

First is the elevator. This thing is probably as old as the building complete with one of those slider gates. If someone on a different floor is using the elevator forget it. If you have something in your hands forget it. You have to open a really heavy door and then slide the gate. It's like being an acrobat or something.

Alright downtstairs and out the double doors of the building. The next thing you see is the guy that I refer to as the professional newspaper reader. No matter what time you leave the buidling he's always seated on one of the planters just outside reading the newspaper. I don't know if this guy has an actual job or if he just reads the paper all day. That's why I call him the professional newspaper reader.

You walk along towards the shop and along the way are transients gawking or pandering or both. There's at least two or three of them every morning. Usually they aren't the same transients either.

Another obstacle is trash. Beer bottles from the bars in the gutters, paper and junk.

Speaking of bars there's at least two or three instances of dried puke from the night before on the sidewalk.

There are usually really gross smells that acost you along the way: unbearably strong Pine Sol, rotting food, pee, beer, and bleach.

By the time you get your coffee and make it back it takes a good ten minutes or more before you can actually conceive of putting anything in your body.