The saying goes, "It takes a village to raise a child", if this is true I would like a few of my fellow villagers cast out!  Before anyone thinks I am being irrational, let me explain.  I am trying to raise my children to be respectful, resourceful, functioning members of society and thanks to a few of my fellow villagers this is getting harder each day.  Take for example a small thing like Winter Formal. 

My 15 year old daughter is a freshman at Frontier.  She let me know that formal was coming up and that she wanted a new dress.  "Fine", I said,"Save up your money and buy one." You see, in our family the children receive an allowance.  My husband & I hope that through this our children will learn the responsibility of handling money and that if you spend the money on nonsense items instead of saving, when you really need/want something you will not have the funds. 

The allowance is theirs to spend on whatever they chose.  Or as I have explain to them "If the only person who benefits from an item/event is you--then you must use your allowance." To me Winter Formal falls into this category--it is an optional, entertainment event and if she would like to go she should pay for it. 

But it seems that other villagers are not of the same mindset.  In fact my daughter quickly let me know that her best friend's parents had bought her a dress for formal that cost "over $400!"--WHAT?? Oh and it didn't stop there--another friend was getting extensions costing over $500 for the event, and another was renting a limo!  Did I miss something here?  these are Freshman & sophomore kids--not the senior prom--no a winter dance!

So you can imagine the tireless conversations we had to have, as my daughter continued to tell me how her dad and I were so mean, unfair, irrational, etc. because the example of the other villagers was no the same.

This is the same type of conversation we have on a continued bases regarding things such as Myspace, a personal cell phone (we have a "shared kids phone" for when they go out), talking to friends after 9 pm, hanging out at the Marketplace, dating, having to buy her own car when she drives to name a few.  I am tired of these conversations and really wish a few more of the villagers would use their heads when raising their children rather than handing them any material item asked for without hesitation.

So how did it turn out? Well, my husband and I stuck to our principals as I took my daughter shopping, with her own money .  She purchased a darling dress & shoes with the $60 she had saved, spending the final $35 on the ticket to the dance. 

The sky did not fall, nor did the earth move because my daughter had to make a financial decision on her own.  She attended the same event, had the same fun and when I picked her up at 10 from the dance I could not tell which girls spent $100's of dollars compared to those who wore a sisters hand-me-downs.