This letter is for my oldest daughter.  She will never read it though.  I am blogging to unload all of the emotions I have spilling out of my heart.

To my first born.  The moment I held you in my arms, I knew that I could never feel a love like I felt at that moment.  When I look at you I still feel that love.  I am so wrought with emotion lately due to the changes that you are going through. I went through the same things that you are going through, but I didn't have parents or anybody for that matter to talk to.  You do though and I am not fully understanding why you don't think that we understand.   Probably because we are your parents and you are a teenager.  We are giving you space to grow, to learn from your mistakes.  We have guided you and taught you right from wrong.  We have given you advice and have taught you our morals and values.  What you take from that is your choice.  It breaks my heart to think that you may choose to make so many of the same mistakes that I did and I can't do anything about it.   Pray.  Pray.  Pray.....and of course, pray some more.  I have faith that God will look out for you and hear you when you call on Him.  I pray that you choose to call on Him daily.  Life is going to throw you some trials, regardless of your faith, but being held by your Heavenly Father will make those trials fade a little easier.  I love you and will always love you unconditionally.  We will always tell you the truth about choices and consequences from those choices.  But you are going to be doing the choosing.  All we can do is have our arms open when you need us.  Know that we are here for you........always. 

Driving, getting married, fishing, hunting, practicing medicine.....what do these things have in common?  You need a license!  But when it comes to parenting a human from age zero until they are off on their own, (parenting doesn't stop then, the dinamics just change) one doesn't need any type of training!  Parenting is THEE one thing in my life that changes daily.  It is on the job training at it's best.

After almost 17 years "on the job", I feel like a new employee.  I desperately need to find an older, wiser "employee" who can give me some pointers!  HELP!!!!!!!!