http://www.bakersfieldvoice.com/home/Blog/sunnica/18268 Today, I awoke to find a &quot;Venti Peppermint Mocha&quot; on the breakfast bar, along with a Starbucks gift card and a note from my husband.&nbsp; It is our&nbsp;19th wedding anniversary. Nineteen&nbsp;years with the same person.&nbsp; That's longer than kids go to school from kindergarten through college.&nbsp; I have now lived with&nbsp;my husband&nbsp;as long as I lived with my parents.&nbsp; Even better: I now have been with him half of my life. It got me thinking about marriage, and why people stay married for so long when it seems more the norm to get divorced.&nbsp; Getting married at 19 years old means that a child married a child.&nbsp; How many&nbsp;19-year olds are capable of making short term decisions (about college, a car, finances, etc.), much less lifetime decisions?&nbsp; We had everything going against us from the beginning, except love, which we had aplenty.&nbsp; But after a few years, we became adults and weren't the same people we were on our wedding day.&nbsp; Therein lies the problem, and the reason, as I see it, why so many people get divorced. No matter how in love a couple is when they wed, problems inevitably arise&nbsp;by&nbsp;their 7th or 8th anniversary.&nbsp; The easy way to deal with those problems is to get a divorce; the harder way is to stay together and realize that the problems are the natural speed bumps in a marriage, the &quot;So you think you're tough enough to be married?&quot; test that we all must endure--like boot camp for married people, where only the strong survive. I guess I made the vow early in my marriage that I would be a survivor.&nbsp; Luckily, my husband must have made the same vow. We both had good examples.&nbsp; His parents just celebrated their 50th anniversary; my parents were married for 44 years before my dad passed away. The benefits of a long marriage outweigh the disadvantages.&nbsp; We like the same movies, eat the same types of food, we share the same history, we have the same kids, who will bring home their own kids to us--the couple who&nbsp;wrestled their way to their 19th wedding anniversary.&nbsp; And he also knows what I like from Starbucks.&nbsp; I knew he was a keeper. &nbsp; Today, I awoke to find a &quot;Venti Peppermint Mocha&quot; on the breakfast bar, along with a Starbucks gift card and a note from my husband.&nbsp; It is our&nbsp;19th wedding anniversary. Nineteen&nbsp;years with the same person.&nbsp; That's longer than kids go to school from kindergarten through college.&nbsp; I have now lived with&nbsp;my husband&nbsp;as long as I lived with my parents.&nbsp; Even better: I now have been with him half of my life. It got me thinking about marriage, and why people stay married for so long when it seems more the norm to get divorced.&nbsp; Getting married at 19 years old means that a child married a child.&nbsp; How many&nbsp;19-year olds are capable of making short term decisions (about college, a car, finances, etc.), much less lifetime decisions?&nbsp; We had everything going against us from the beginning, except love, which we had aplenty.&nbsp; But after a few years, we became adults and weren't the same people we were on our wedding day.&nbsp; Therein lies the problem, and the reason, as I see it, why so many people get divorced. No matter how in love a couple is when they wed, problems inevitably arise&nbsp;by&nbsp;their 7th or 8th anniversary.&nbsp; The easy way to deal with those problems is to get a divorce; the harder way is to stay together and realize that the problems are the natural speed bumps in a marriage, the &quot;So you think you're tough enough to be married?&quot; test that we all must endure--like boot camp for married people, where only the strong survive. I guess I made the vow early in my marriage that I would be a survivor.&nbsp; Luckily, my husband must have made the same vow. We both had good examples.&nbsp; His parents just celebrated their 50th anniversary; my parents were married for 44 years before my dad passed away. The benefits of a long marriage outweigh the disadvantages.&nbsp; We like the same movies, eat the same types of food, we share the same history, we have the same kids, who will bring home their own kids to us--the couple who&nbsp;wrestled their way to their 19th wedding anniversary.&nbsp; And he also knows what I like from Starbucks.&nbsp; I knew he was a keeper. &nbsp; en-us Mon, 10 Dec 2007 10:59:38 PST Congratulations, yes 19 years is a very big number in this day and age.&nbsp;&nbsp;My wife and I&nbsp;just had our 47th. Marrage takes hard work, lot's of give and take. But the rewards only get bigger as time goes by. Cherish it while you have it, not too many people do! http://www.bakersfieldvoice.com/home/Blog/sunnica/18268/#c_172180 http://www.bakersfieldvoice.com/home/Blog/sunnica/18268/#c_172180 Congratulations, yes 19 years is a very big number in this day and age.&nbsp;&nbsp;My wife and I&nbsp;just had our 47th. Marrage takes hard work, lot's of give and take. But the rewards only get bigger as time goes by. Cherish it while you have it, not too many people do! <p>Dana,&nbsp;</p> <p>Wow -- 19 years with the same man -- congratulations.&nbsp; Andy shared that you were now the editor of the Northwest Voice and so I finally decided to read some of your work;&nbsp; I enjoyed reading your insights on being committed to surviving as we are planning to be married.&nbsp; And as we have discussed on numerous occasions, all relationships take work -- whether it's &nbsp;husband and wife, mother to child, or friend to friend -- each has its own joys to be cherished.&nbsp; I have found a wonderful man and these past two years have been an incredible journey with him.&nbsp; Thanks for the inspiration!&nbsp;</p> http://www.bakersfieldvoice.com/home/Blog/sunnica/18268/#c_192142 http://www.bakersfieldvoice.com/home/Blog/sunnica/18268/#c_192142 <p>Dana,&nbsp;</p> <p>Wow -- 19 years with the same man -- congratulations.&nbsp; Andy shared that you were now the editor of the Northwest Voice and so I finally decided to read some of your work;&nbsp; I enjoyed reading your insights on being committed to surviving as we are planning to be married.&nbsp; And as we have discussed on numerous occasions, all relationships take work -- whether it's &nbsp;husband and wife, mother to child, or friend to friend -- each has its own joys to be cherished.&nbsp; I have found a wonderful man and these past two years have been an incredible journey with him.&nbsp; Thanks for the inspiration!&nbsp;</p>