Neighborhood etiquette - tsimpson's Blog - The Bakersfield Voice

A letter that will never be read to whom it is for.................

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 20:52:19 PST

This letter is for my oldest daughter. She will never read it though. I am blogging to unload all of the emotions I have spilling out of my heart.

To my first born. The moment I held you in my arms, I knew that I could never feel a love like I felt at that moment. When I look at you I still feel that love. I am so wrought with emotion lately due to the changes that you are going through. I went through the same things that you are going through, but I didn't have parents or anybody for that matter to talk to. You do though and I am not fully understanding why you don't think that we understand. Probably because we are your parents and you are a teenager. We are giving you space to grow, to learn from your mistakes. We have guided you and taught you right from wrong. We have given you advice and have taught you our morals and values. What you take from that is your choice. It breaks my heart to think that you may choose to make so many of the same mistakes that I did and I can't do anything about it. Pray. Pray. Pray.....and of course, pray some more. I have faith that God will look out for you and hear you when you call on Him. I pray that you choose to call on Him daily. Life is going to throw you some trials, regardless of your faith, but being held by your Heavenly Father will make those trials fade a little easier. I love you and will always love you unconditionally. We will always tell you the truth about choices and consequences from those choices. But you are going to be doing the choosing. All we can do is have our arms open when you need us. Know that we are here for you........always.

Parenting without a license!

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 20:20:05 PST

Driving, getting married, fishing, hunting, practicing medicine.....what do these things have in common? You need a license! But when it comes to parenting a human from age zero until they are off on their own, (parenting doesn't stop then, the dinamics just change) one doesn't need any type of training! Parenting is THEE one thing in my life that changes daily. It is on the job training at it's best.

After almost 17 years "on the job", I feel like a new employee. I desperately need to find an older, wiser "employee" who can give me some pointers! HELP!!!!!!!!

Better safe than sorry....

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 10:28:20 PDT

It is the last day of October and the last day of Breast Cancer Awareness month. This brings me to tell you about something that I went through at the beginning of the month.

I went in for my yearly exam/physical and my physician ordered lab work and a yearly mammogram, (which I have been having since I turned 40). My mammagram came back "suspicious"; therefore, I was sent to have an ultrasound. The ultrasound came back "suspicious" so my physician ordered a biopsy. I am usually thick skinned when it comes to medical issues, beings I used to work in the medical field; however, I have to admit that I was extremly frightened at the thought of the "C" word........CANCER! I knew why my mind was realing... Three years ago to the day that the doctors office called me with the results, my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a mastectomy.

I waited 3 days for the results, and during those 3 days, I looked back on my 44 years on earth and knew that everything was going to be alright. Initially, the fear that I had was overwhelming, but after a great deal of prayer, I knew that God was and always has been in control and He wouldn't put me through more than I could handle.

The results came back benign and just experiencing the fear I had made me change my attitude about life. I look at life differenly. I have always tried to be "in the moment"; however, something within me woke up and now I am more aware of the blessings I have and donot take anything for granted.

To all of the women out there that have put off having a mammogram...please be proactive and call your doctor for an appointment. It IS better to be safe than sorry.

What is the point of stealing signs?

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 13:38:12 PDT

My husband and I returned from bible study last night to find all of the YES ON PROP. 8 signs gone from our neighborhood lawns. There were 4 or 5 on our street. There is also some NO ON PROP. 8 signs in our neighborhood; however, those were NOT removed. Not hard to figure out who stole the signs! I completely understand that this issue is important to both sides of this proposition. Agree to disagree, but don't come onto private property and remove a sign. This only shows social immaturity and ignorance!

Drawing a line in the sand

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 16:00:32 PDT

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and you disagree? I found out recently that some people draw a line in the sand as soon as you disagree with them. This tends to leave an awkward silence; thus resulting in the changing of the mood and of the subject.

Wether it be a conversation about a favorite movie or something touchy as politics, I have encountered peoples attitudes change as soon as I disagree with their opinion. Key word is opinion. Everyone has an opinion, but everyone does not have the social maturity to be able to process any other opinion but there own.

In order to sustain a healthy relationship, be it personal, family or business. One needs to be able to listen and hear the other persons thoughts and opinions in order to get a clear understanding of the other persons beliefs or ideas.

One may not necessarily agree, but to automatically put up a wall and draw a line in the sand is only showing an extremely closed mind. Of course, that is only my opinon.

Memories....were they our own, or did we "borrow" them?

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:06:34 PDT

I was laying in bed last night trying to get to sleep, when I started thinking about how our youngest daughter seems to remember things from when she was two years old, or has she heard us speak of different circumstances and then thinks that they are her own memories?

I know for a fact that the first memory I have is from 1968, I was 5 years old living on 7th street in Grover City, Ca. (renamed Grover Beach to increase tourism...I guess it worked?) Anyway, our oldest daughter seems to remember when she was four years old going to the thrift shop with my mom. She also remembers being in a church play around the same age. Okay, realistic, but having a memory at two? Is this possible?

I don't know about you, but my childhood was not the most positive, but then again, who had the perfect childhood? I know I blocked out alot of yelling but also remember alot of it too, but therapy has helped me to be "okay".......at least that's what I tell myself!

So, I would like to ask all of you readers: At what age do you honestly remember something significant? Be honest now, is it your memory or are you borrowing it?

In His time.......................

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 20:32:40 PDT

I tell our daughters that the only person they have full control of is themselves and that the choices that they make will ultimately have consequences, they may not see those consequences right away, but will in time...............In God's time.

I am turning 45 years old in 3 months and 3 weeks, just in case somebody wanted to send me a card, and I am finally at a point in my life where I am enjoying learning from my mishaps...and Lord knows I have many!

Every single day I learn something new about life and my desire is to share my new found life experiences/moments with my family...it's just getting their full attention that I need help with. :0)

I blog here at the Northwest Voice to do the same thing...hopefully people see that whatever I write, I write with all of my heart and do not do so just to be typing, but to share a part of myself with people that I may never meet and maybe, just maybe, something I write will help somebody with a similar situation or make somebody say, "Hmmm, I never thought of it that way!" or maybe give you a chuckle....whatever the case, I am enjoying my time..........In His time.................

Wanted: A sense of peace and quiet!

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 10:01:27 PDT

It's already July 15, 2008..............where has the summer gone? Three weeks of summer school, 5 days of vacation bible school, 10 days of vacation with my family, 5 days of church camp...upcoming: 5+ days of performing arts camp at our church and finally...another vacation with my family for a full 7 days............much needed!

I feel extremely drained, physically, emotionally and for some reason spiritually. Our Senior Pastor of Christ Church of the Valley, Michael Foutz, preached on "religion" and the perils of churches focusing too much on being religious rather than having the personal relationship with God. That has been heavy on my heart for many months!

I want so badly to live my life according to how God wants me to live and I feel like I have been busy with the "stuff" that is interfering with me finding a sincere inner peace. I pray earnestly that God will show me what He wants me/our family to do, rather than what our needs are.

I will be still and wait for His calling and until then, I am going to slow down and listen....something that we believers tend to have a hard time doing. Being busy doesn't get us closer to heaven, our hearts are what God wants, not a busy day planner.

Social maturity 101

Mon, 26 May 2008 20:34:32 PDT

What happened this weekend that people forgot their social manners and maturity for that matter. On two separate occasions in the Northwest Promonade, I was witness to the same type of behavior that is inexcusable...rudeness and downright social immaturity. I could not believe it when a grown woman repeatedly bounced in a booth to make it uncomfortable for me. On the third time, I turned around and said, "This is not funny", while they laughed. We left shortly after that; however, the woman and her daughter continued to laugh and stare as we walked out. I prayed for them that there hearts would be softened.

Today, we were leaving Walmart for our monthly birdseed purchase, (I could be called the bird lady due to all of the birds we feed in our backyard). Anyway, as we were getting into our car we heard yelling and cussing. A grown woman (no, not the same one from the booth) was yelling at a man in a truck while a younger woman in her 20's was yelling out the back window. Foul language and social immaturiy go hand in hand, but this took the cake. I so wished I had my video camera to You Tube it, but then again, they would probably find out where I lived and stalk me or sue me for pain and suffering or something else their attorney would congure up. Again, I prayed for these people that there hearts would be softend.

My husband and I had a conversation about these two incidents and I told him that I felt that we are living in a society where people are "excusing" such behavior and just going on there own way......am I right? I am a strong believer that treating people how you would want to be treated is on the top ten of positive social behavior, but what is happening? Is it just me? Is there somewhere where people truly treat one another properly????? Oh yeah........................Heaven!

Watching your daughter leave right before your eyes

Mon, 12 May 2008 08:51:31 PDT

Our eldest daughter just received her driving permit. My husband and I each took her, at different times, to our church parking lot to let her get used to being behind the wheel. My husband was giving her tips on the three point turn and parellel parking; whereas, I was giving her advice on not looking in the mirror while driving, not looking nervous while driving and my favorite driving advice...the proper driving waves. How to give people the thank you wave, hello wave, go ahead wave and what are you thinking "wave"......well not so much.

On a serious note, I got out of the car at one point of our "driving instruction" and had her drive by herself, (praying each second, of course) and as I watched her drive off I realized that this moment will never come again. This moment of watching my daughter drive off right before my eyes will forever be in my mind.

She will be a junior next year and I can still remember watching her on her first day of kindergarten. Oh how the years go by! Cherish each moment....... they will vanish right before your eyes.

I CAN'T SLEEP!

Thu, 08 May 2008 23:47:00 PDT

For the past 2 - 3 years, I have been having problems sleeping. At night, when everyone else is snuggled in their beds, I am thinking of things to do the following day, or things I should have done. I get up numerous times to read, watch television, get a glass of milk, but to no avail........I AM STILL AWAKE!

Several months ago, I decided to switch sides of the bed with my husband. For several weeks, it helped. It was all a placebo! I am not changing back due to the fact that my husband is sleeping better now.

During the day, I get so tired that I can't sit for too long or I will fall asleep. At night, I tell myself that I am going to sleep better since I am so tired. Guess what? I am at our kitchen table now blogging, so that positive thinking technique didn't work.

I have tried sleeping aids; however, I don't want my body to become so dependent on them; however, I believe that I need to do something since the brain cells that I have left aren't being replenished by R.E.M. sleep.

Anybody have any advice? OR if you have trouble sleeping too, maybe we can start a support group. Our meetings would be short, since we all would need to nap.

A tree and its fruit

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 18:09:56 PDT

I received a phone call yesterday from our daughters teacher letting us know that she was proud of her for standing up for a friend when no one else would. U.G.E.S.D.S: Upper grade elementary school drama syndrome is what I have named it. (everything else has a syndrome, so why not make a new one up?)

As I was reading my bible study today, I came across a verse in Matthew 12:33 "Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or else make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit." (The Inspirational Study Bible-Max Lucado New Kings James Version)

Isn't it true that we are producing fruit when we raise our children, and what a joy to know that people are seeing the sweetness of this "fruit"? I am not saying that our fruit has not tasted sour at times. As the saying goes: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and we all have our "sour apple" days.

So, regaradless of bad days, if we as parents teach our children the difference between good fruit and bad fruit..............can we possibly have a nice fruit salad at the end of the day?

Wishing for some culture in my family

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 17:54:55 PDT

St. Patricks Day-A day for the irish.....although I am cooking cornbeef, cabbage and potatoes as we speak, I long to be able to embrace some culture that was in my family background, but the only culture that was ever spoken about was the band Culture Club from the 80's.

You see, I am what my family calls "Heinz 57", meaning our family comes from so many different types of bloodlines that when doing a family tree, my cousin had to use enough trees to make a housing developement. Seriously, we cannot find true culture in my family background.

What is a 44 year old woman to do with no culture? I can't purchase it, I can't make it up (I could but my family would call a therapist) I will just settle for being me....a happily married, mom, daughter, sister, aunt and cousin to numerous other family members who are in the same boat as I am......lacking culture but we have eachother................

Back on the parenting soapbox!

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 10:44:18 PDT

I read an article in the Bakersfield Californian several days ago about the owner of the empty home that was used for party central by numerous teens. The owners decision not to press charges baffled me. He stated in the article that he took the beer back, but returned several other items to them. WHAT? Okay, I look around the neighborhoods and high schools and see kids driving brand new vehicles, wearing $250.00 pairs of jeans, carrying designer handbags and think...what are they going to want when they graduate? Hold these kids accountable for their actions! So they won't like you, who cares! They WILL get over it, and if not......who cares! I am so incredibly fed up with parents NOT parenting, allowing their relationship with their kids to be that of a buddy and not a parent! No wonder our society is the way it is! Okay, I'm done................for now. Thanks for reading and putting up with my "venting".

How far will the government go in telling us how to teach/raise our children?

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 10:34:52 PDT

I homeschooled our eldest daughter. Her homeschooling experience was short lived...very short...2 days. I am a very patient person; however, my ability to actually teach her/challenge her was left to the teachers. Don't get me wrong, we teach our children on a daily basis and are very involved in their schooling/education. We have confidence in the public school system and our daily involvement has enabled our girls to become honor students and most importantly, well mannered, positive citizens of our our community. What I am very concerned about is the government telling parents that they CANNOT teach their children at home. I know many homeschooled children and while they are not schooled outside of their home, they are honor students and are involved in extra curricular activities which enable them to interact with their peers. What is next? Is the government going to tell us where we take our children to church, what movies we can take them to, what types of clothes we buy them??? We need to stand up for our rights! We need to band together, regardless of what political party we are. It is time for parents to be parents and stop depending on the government and the schools to raise our children. It is our God given right to raise these children up to become law abiding citizens, positive role models and we need to be positive role models to them and not rely on others to raise them! They say it takes a village, well............you need to start in your own "village" first!

Defensive Driving

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 16:33:51 PST

My mother has never driven, well...that's not true, there was the time my dad was teaching her how to drive one evening and she drove through the kitchen. That was the last time she got behind the wheel. Thank God!

Today, I was taking my mom on numerous errands and I felt like I was at the Famosa racetrack. Bakersfield is very busy at noon, especially on F Street; however, after 2 hours running errands, I felt like I was watching the Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day and I was the lead role. It was the same type of people pulling out in front of me, going around me (illegally) and not giving Bakersfield drivers a good name due to their lack of common courtesy while driving. I don't expect drivers to be "Stepfordish" drivers, waving you to go first while having a big smile, or not honking when you have a 1/2 second delay when at a green light.

In a perfect world, we would be courteous to eachother and look out for others safety, actually abide by the speedlimit and maybe wave somebody through at a four way stop, but reality is reality and I will continue to bite my already chapped, dry and bleeding lip (okay, I'm being a bit dramatic) and drive with a smile on my face and pray without ceasing.

Lost socks and lost friendships....one in the same?

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 16:19:29 PST

I just finished folding laundry and much to my dismay, I am adding one more sock to the lost sock club on top of the dryer. The club now has 6 members. I have an analogy: Lost socks are like lost friendships. They are there one day and gone another. You can search all over for that lost friend/sock and sometimes, they show up in the oddest places; however, most of the time they are gone forever. I miss those socks and I miss some old friends, but some of the socks/friendships had holes in them and no matter how many times I mended them, the holes would inevitably get bigger. I have purchased new socks and have found new friendships, but I truly miss my favorite pair of comfy pink slipper socks that always kept my feet warm, just like I miss some friends that always kept my heart warm. Maybe they will show up some day, or not. Either way, I will continue folding laundry and smile while doing so.

A constant song in my head...............

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 16:55:28 PST

When I wake up in the morning, I have a song in my head, when I go throughout my day, there is a song for everything, when I lay down my head to sleep, yes, you guessed it, there is a song in my head. Constantly! I honestly.......(just then, the Olivia Newton John song, "I honestly Love you" was going through my head....)have a song for all situations! Don't get me wrong, I can stop when necessary, but when focusing or concentrating is not deemed necessary? "You better, you better, you bet!" My question for anybody who reads this, "Does this happen to you, or shall I call a therapist?"

Do brain cells eventually grow back?

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 18:02:43 PST

I had a knitting lesson this a.m. I am so excited to learn a relaxing hobby, or so I thought. I just turned 44 years old and I thought I would learn something that I could enjoy while watching television or talking with my family...sounded good anyway! After an almost 3 hour lesson, I went back later to review what I had learned and.................NOTHING! I could not remember how to hold the needles, I couldn't remember anything! The woman who taught me is so patient and she is very articulate, so it's not her fault. What happened to almost 3 hours of learning? I am so frustrated! Does anyone know when the brain cells will return?

44 years of wisdom

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 10:04:55 PST

As I enter into my 44th year on planet earth, I want to share some of the wisdom I have learned. I will call this my "Top 10 countdown of changing for the good"

10. If you don't have something relevent to say, then just smile and breathe...who

knows, less hot air may help global warming.....that's supposed to be funny!

9. Smile at a stranger, it may be the only one they receive.

8. Give a hug to someone and mean it. Well, don't give a stranger a hug, they

might call the police on you:0)

7. Eat breakfast each morning, it gives you your day's fuel. I am STILL working on

being consistent with this "change".

6. Ask someone how they are and really listen!

5. When you first wake up in the morning, breathe in deep and mentally list what

you are grateful for. If your late for work, you can still list them while you are

getting ready!

4. Tell someone you love "why" you love them.

3. Talk to your neighbors when your outside. Don't shut the garage door so

quickly.....I am working on this one too.

2. Use the 90/10 method when talking to your children, or anybody for that

matter......listen 90% of the time, talk 10%......or just don't say anything :0)

1. Enjoy each moment of the day, we don't know if this will be our last moment!